did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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