and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
