dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
