She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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