so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just googled if crying burns calories
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
