New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
