Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
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Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
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You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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