she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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