I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
