Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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