just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
