she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
