Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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