Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
