last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
