Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
