He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
