Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
soo... how was my night?
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