Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
