WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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