You just made me feel so damn special
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
