He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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