bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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