So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
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It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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