...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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