Too much gin, very little bucket
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
