if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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