Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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