It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize