i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think I am morally bankrupt
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
