I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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