Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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