She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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