News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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