No more Irish car bombs ever.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
