That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Welp...herpes.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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