We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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