It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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