So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
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We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
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Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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