Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
