Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
