I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.