Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night