When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.