Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.