grinding to god bless the USA? really?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.