it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
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since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
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We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.