i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.