i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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