found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
