but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
