she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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