So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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