Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize