no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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