he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
