MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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