Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
