new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
